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Jan 22 2004
Well…that was a nice break. It seems as if a lot should have happened since
I last posted. I suspect it did, though I don’t much remember it. A few
things I remember, of course, but enough to account for more than a day or two.
I take that back, I spent a week in Orlando in October, right after that last
post. I finally saw Epcot; le faux Tour Eiffel was missing from la faux France
but the other ten countries seemed intact. Yes, and I lugged the famed Joyce Biography
by Richard Ellman all the way down there to finish less than thirty pages, which
sent me into a subsequent Beckett frenzy when I read he almost died after being
stabbed by a pimp in Paris. See, Beckett was a friend of Joyce and and helped him
out with the preparation of Finnegans Wake. I remembered the Beckett/Joyce connection from some time ago, but the
biography served to remind me. Coincidently, some time during that Beckett frenzy a brochure
arrived from a local theatre advertising that their coming line-up will include
“Waiting for Godot”. That seemed rather strange as I recall. In the time than spanned
October and the holidays, I wrote two essays of self definition. In hindsight
it doesn’t seem to have been nearly as hard as it actually was. I also raked
together all the various things I have done in the past 4 years and looked at
them. They made me remember I turn thirty this year. I burned them to CD and sent
them to people I have never met, just to see what they might say. None of
them said a thing. Oh, I also intended to read Hegel’s lectures on Aesthetics
during that period but never did. I carried the book, which is pleasantly compact,
for a couple of weeks and read the introduction at least three times, but never
actually read past that. I probably should have read it while I was sitting on
the couch at home, but the cover art reminded me of my copy of Kierkegaard’s
Either/Or which is not as compact, so I read random pages from it instead. That
all doesn’t seem as important now as it did at the time. It’s hard
to remember past the holidays, which were notable. I spent my first Christmas
away from home in Wilmington, North Carolina. My Grandmother tells a great story
about Wilmington; she left there wishing never to return and found herself moving
there within the next two weeks by her own choosing. Actually now that I think
about it, she and I went for similar reasons I guess. Anyway, after Christmas,
I wrote two more essays of self definition and sent them to people I do not know
and again there was no reply. I also stopped to remember when I had more energy
and wondered where it all went. I think I have that one figured out. In some ways
that’s what prompted the multiple essays, though they were long over due
either way. I also created a new design for this site, though I still haven’t
finished it. I think I will shoot for getting it up by February 12th. That seems
like as good a day as any. I had considered February 2nd, since it lacks that
one pesky odd number, but I may write another essay instead. I actually remember
more than I thought I did about the past few months. I remember why I like plain
white t-shirts, for instance and why Rimbaud disappeared into the African desert
at the age of 21. I remember how much I love chance and coincidence, even when
it amounts to nothing at all. I also remember the thousand things to ignore and
the ten things to appreciate, even if one of those ten amounts to no more than
a turtle. So, that’s pretty much it, a few months of my life passing without
comment just months before my thirtieth birthday. Make of it what you will, I
will probably remember it differently.